Red Flag Rodeo: What Makes a “Date” a Warning Sign & How to Dodge the Disaster

Let’s be honest—dating in 2025 is less “romantic dinner under the stars” and more “survivor challenge with wine.” You’ve swiped, matched, and picked out an outfit that says “I’m fun but emotionally stable,” only to sit across from someone who immediately tells you they’re "between jobs," "don’t believe in therapy," or worse—orders for you without asking.

Dating should be exciting. But too often, it becomes an audition for who can ignore the most red flags in under 90 minutes. Let’s fix that.

Here’s how to spot a red flag date before it turns into a whole psychological case study—and what to do when you see one waving like a carnival banner.

🚩 1. They Talk... and Talk... and Talk (About Themselves)

You asked how their day was, and somehow they’re now telling you about their high school football glory days, third divorce, and deep distrust of oat milk. Meanwhile, they’ve asked zero questions about you. This isn't a date—it’s a TED Talk.

AVOID IT: Keep the convo balanced early. If you find yourself nodding for 45 straight minutes like a bobblehead, try:
"I love hearing about your job! I’m curious—what do you like to learn about other people?"
If they still don’t get the hint? Check, please.

🚩 2. Trauma-Dumping in the First 15 Minutes

Listen—we love emotional depth. But if your date starts recounting their childhood wounds before the drinks arrive, you’re not on a date. You’re an unpaid therapist.

AVOID IT: Be direct but kind. “I appreciate you sharing that, but I’d love to keep things light while we’re just getting to know each other.”
If they can’t keep it light, they’re not ready to date—they’re ready for therapy. And that’s okay. But that’s not your job.

🚩 3. They’re Rude to the Waitstaff (or Anyone in General)

The quickest way to know someone’s character? Watch how they treat people who aren’t “useful” to them. If they’re dismissive, condescending, or demanding, those traits will absolutely come for you later.

AVOID IT: This is a non-negotiable. One rude snap at the waiter, and it’s time to wrap it up. “Hey, I don’t think this vibe is working for me—take care.” Let them argue with themselves while you ghost gracefully.

🚩 4. They Make Everything a Test

“You’re not one of those girls who texts back right away, right?”
“I only date people who don’t wear makeup.”
“If you really liked me, you’d…”

This is not flirting. This is manipulation, dressed up as “just being honest.” These “tests” are power plays.

AVOID IT: Shut it down with humor or boundaries. Try, “Wow, we’re starting off strong with the quizzes!” Then change the subject—or the exit plan.

🚩 5. They Don't Respect Boundaries (Big or Small)

If they touch you after you’ve moved away. If they try to pressure you into a second drink. If they make weird comments and call it “just joking”—these are not small things. They’re test balloons for future disrespect.

AVOID IT: Set the boundary once. If they push past it? Leave. You owe no one a full dinner, a full conversation, or an explanation when your safety or comfort is compromised.

BONUS 🚩🚩 When It’s Just a Vibe

Sometimes, there’s no smoking gun—just a subtle ick. Something doesn’t feel right. You don’t feel safe, seen, or comfortable.

AVOID IT: TRUST 👏 YOUR 👏 GUT 👏. You don’t need a list of reasons to leave. You are the reason.

So… How Do You Avoid Red Flag Dates Altogether?

While you can’t guarantee every date is a winner, you can stack the deck in your favor:

• Vet with intention. Don’t just swipe on abs and vibes. Look for signs of emotional intelligence in their profile or messages.

• Talk on the phone or video chat first. Hear their voice. Catch the vibe. People can fake a lot in texts—but real-time convo reveals everything.

• Pick the place. Choose a safe, public spot you can leave easily. Don’t go hiking with strangers, babe. This isn’t Netflix’s next true crime special.

• Know your exit plan. And use it with pride. “This has been nice, but I don’t think we’re a match. Wishing you the best!” Boom. Exit stage left.

Final Word: You Are the Prize.

Red flags don’t get better over time. They get brighter. And if someone’s waving them like a pageant sash on Day One? Thank them for showing you early—and strut your fabulous self right on out of there.

You’re not desperate. You’re discerning.

You’re not hard to love. You’re just not here for games.

You’re not asking for too much. You’re asking the right person to step up.

Keep those standards high and your red flag radar sharper than your winged liner. Love doesn’t require you to ignore your instincts.

And if it does?

It’s not love. It’s a red flag parade.

🎤 drops mic